Good morning Rawkers. We've spent a few days talking about some seriously heavy outfits that make you beg for the rock and then bring it -- Deep Purple, Cream, AC/DC, Motorhead.... Tasty stuff indeed.
Now it's time to creep to the edge of the wuss cliff, peer over and take a long look down at the wreckage of some bands that TRIED to rock but just flat out sucked. That's why this post is titled, "THE INFAMOUS LIST OF SUCKAGE". I've got a few nominations, three of which are included here. But i'd really like to hear some of your nominations and WHY they deserve the crown of rock suckage.
TVW, you've already tagged Bon Jovi so no rehash of that position. And for the sake of consistency, because I've already covered REO Wusswagon and Poison, i'll let those previous comments stand.
So here are a few of the goody-two-shoes that gingerly tip-toed onto rock's stage and should have quickly been given the hook:
The Moody Blues -- This is a band that's fun to hate. The most pretentious band ever assembled that so desperately wants to be taken seriously.... WAY too seriously! You know you suck when one of your most famous cuts has a spoken word poem at the end. While the Moody's ALMOST redeem themselve with "I'm Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band)", it's the lone cool cut in a forest of cheese. I had to actually buy the long version of "Nights in White Satin" on itunes to hear the poem. Remember this?
"Breathe deep, the gathering gloom. Watch lights fade from every room...."
and
"Impassioned lovers, wrestle as one. Lonely man cries for love, and has none."
Urp, hurl....spit, spit, cough... Yuck. Only thing they need is a mini Stonehenge and some dwarves....

Phil Collins and Genesis -- Lowest common denominator stuff for boys who want to appear sensitive and deep to girls. One of the reasons (along with Madonna) that the 80s are so easily and unfairly dismissed musically. Have you EVER seen a Phil Collins bumper sticker? Didn't think so.
At least Genesis was a little bit interesting with the weirdness of Peter Gabriel. Phil may be a great drummer, but as a singer, songwriter and band leader? And shirtless? Weak sauce. Pure suckage.
Stryper -- Just look at the picture. Not even God himself can save these guys from suckage..... One of the lamest acts of the 80s that -- again -- tried way to hard to be taken seriously.
So, there you have a few of my thoughts. Let's hear your's. Let's hear that giant sucking sound!
Go in peace....
G.O.T.