Crue good, Poison bad... mmm-kay?

Good morning rawkers!

The other day I posted some views on FaceBook about "Hair Metal" (HM) and critical inclusions in any playlist of the genre. It generated a ton of response, and thought it deserved a bit more clarification and discussion here.

Now, before the rock purists unload on me about how the HM genre totally lacks substance and that my credibility is called into question for even suggesting it might have some merit, let me say this about that: what we like is what we like and it doesn't matter a flying fig if it fits within someone else's box of "good". That's the whole point of this blog to begin with.

That said, this is what HM has going for it -- it's loud, the guitars are often great (but they sometimes suck), the tunes have catchy hooks, often hilarious/great/lousy videos, chicks dig it, and it's just damn entertaining stuff. Oh yeah, and chicks dig it. And THAT, my friends, is why most rockers ever learned a bar chord to begin with. So the genre is legit. Deal with it.

Here's a couple other facts of the genre: Poison sucks. The vocals are terrible, Brett Michael's stage antics are atrocious, CC DeVille is the worst guitar player of all time and they looked like crap -- especially when their drummer put on that stupid policeman's hat. Oh yeah, and CC DeVille IS the worst guitar player of all time. The only thing that could have been worse for these boys was for one of them to start doing a reality show. Oh wait....

Bottom line, the band is completely --- (a word i promised my wife i wouldn't use here).

I know, I know. Poison lovers wonder why I would pick on a band that so many people clearly enjoy (how many albums sold?), that they're a fun party band, that I just need to relax, put a cork in it, etc.. The answer is because it is scientifically provable that they SUCK. Also, see my second paragraph above (about flying figs).

So, after disposing of that which the cat dragged in....

Fact number two: Warrant may have been a close second. Cherry Pie? Gimme a break....

Fact number three: Motley Crue totally kicks ass.

Evidence:

1. Tommy Lee. The dude oozes groove and is flat out one of the rockin'-est drummers on the planet. He is a monster who lays it down, regardless of what kind of music he's playing.

2. Nikki Sixx. While he may not be one of the best bass players in rock, he writes great material. And when he straps on his Thunderbird bass he cuts one of the coolest profiles in rock and roll. He just LOOKS the part, and has the attitude to back it up. This was one bad-ass cool rhythym section.

3. Mick Mars. Shreds the guitar hooks better than most HM players. Awesome guitar tone in a genre not known for killer tone.

4. Vince Neil. Would kick Brett Michaels' ass in a cage match. Forget Home Sweet Home. His voice grows on you. I love his nasty pipes in Dr. Feelgood and Girls, Girls, Girls. When the groove gets greasy, he hits his stride.

5. The Crue just keeps getting better. Dr. Feelgood was light years beyond Shout at the Devil. Most HM bands fail to show that kind of development over the years, assuming they stuck around at all.

So how can a guy who worships Cream, Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and the Beatles like the Crue? Back to paragraph number three....

Another key point about HM -- I'm most definitely NOT talking about heavy rock/metal bands from the 80s that, to me, bolt the category. Examples are Guns n' Roses, Def Leppard, Judas Priest, Ozzy, etc.

And oh yeah, critical inclusions in a HM play list? Crue, LA Guns, Whitesnake, Ratt, White Lion, Skid Row, Great White, Cinderella, Winger (yeah, i went there. Sorry. Kip can sing and Reb Beach can PLAY).

So! Hope this all didn't put a rip in your spandex. Lemme know what you think.

Go in peace....

God of Thunder